I have Clive. He sees things in me I cannot, and would likely trip over himself in a rush to see that I lack for nothing. But as for taking responsibility-- no. Not since I was twelve.
( Who would stick out their neck for her, dominant as she was, in the kingdom where Bearers were sacrificed to the crystal they revered as a god? Lady Marleigh had done her best to be kind to her, but Jill is glad that no one else had risked their lives for her. What blood was spilled because of her defiance still haunts the recesses of her mind, and there was no need to add more suffering when it could be prevented. )
[Clive...Clive...he runs the name through his brain a few times before recalling a certain muscle-bound, chisel-jawed guy who showed up in the castle around the same time as Jill.]
It's good to have someone like that. You're lucky that he's here with you.
[Though it's sad that the man who took her on decided that at the age of twelve she was no longer his problem; she could make her own way. Wilhelm, at eighteen, still doesn't feel like a real adult.]
( She would correct him if she knew -- Archduke Elwin Rosfield was a kind man, who cared for her as if she was a member of his family. He likely would have continued to do so until she was married off to some other noble or, if Jill had been truly lucky, married to one of his sons. That he was beheaded in a coup partly organized by his wife brought an unfortunate end to her wardship, and the invasion by the Ironblood an end to her freedom. )
I am. For all that our time here in Thorne is what it is, that Clive is here is a gift and a blessing I will never be able to repay.
No offense, but Ambrose probably wasn't thinking about any of that when he summoned both of you. All he cares about is what you can do to serve the kingdom and the crown.
I'm grateful for a lot of things too. My situation back home was
I didn't choose it for myself, and I didn't know how to leave it. I guess I didn't choose to be here either, but I have some choice about what I do with my life now.
Anyway, my gratitude isn't for Ambrose, it's for the people who have supported me and helped me figure things out.
( Jill knows that, too. It's why she keeps what she is, what she and Dion and Joshua are, close to her chest. Why she will die rather than explain what Clive is, what he was born to do and become, to anyone in Thorne. They are weapons, all of them, and they could bring down the main city of any territory in short order. That Thorne has four Dominants is a source of anxiety, especially when Jill knows well the lengths men will go to in order to bend any one of them to their will. )
That I know, too, so no offence taken.
Still--
If my life has taught me anything, it is that we always have a choice. Perhaps not in any way that we can see, or know, but there always is one. I myself have had trouble with such things in the past, so I'm glad that you have found your way a little quicker than I did. It's always easier when we have those who care for us beside us, isn't it?
[Back then, he thought that he had no choice but to follow his parents' expectations, which to him felt as unbreakable as the laws of physics. Gravity, centripetal force, you name it. These days, he sometimes wonders if he could have made a different choice. If everything could have been different, if he knew then what he knows now.
As am I. Thank you, by the way -- for the work you've been doing, on behalf of Lucifer and all the Summoned. I look forward to working with you further.
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( Who would stick out their neck for her, dominant as she was, in the kingdom where Bearers were sacrificed to the crystal they revered as a god? Lady Marleigh had done her best to be kind to her, but Jill is glad that no one else had risked their lives for her. What blood was spilled because of her defiance still haunts the recesses of her mind, and there was no need to add more suffering when it could be prevented. )
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But that's not his life anymore, and this is.]
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